Table of Contents - Well Groomed
There's a Spouse in my House cover
excerpts Test Your Groom IQ

Excerpted from Chapter 1:

How Can a Magazine Cost $12.95 and Not Have Pictures of Naked People in It? An Introduction to Bridal Magazines

Immediately after you become engaged, and in some cases as you are putting the ring on her finger, your brand new fiancée will celebrate the commitment you have just made to her by leaving you alone in the house while she goes off to buy bridal magazines. This isn’t to suggest that she doesn’t already own several bridal magazines. She does. But she’s hidden them away, just like you’ve hidden your porn. Now that she’s officially engaged, though, it’s time for a new crop of magazines that can be proudly displayed in public (your porn, however, should still remain hidden).

Upon arriving at her local newsstand, your fiancée will be met by several of her closest female friends. These friends have not been called – they have been summoned to this particular location by supernatural powers, just like all those people who drove to Iowa to watch dead guys play baseball at the end of Field of Dreams.

The first thing her friends will do is look at her engagement ring and discuss how much they love it. Or rather, they will say how much they love it, but they will really be speaking in secret girl code

What Women Say About The Engagement Ring
What They Really Mean
It’s very unique! I have the same one.
I’ve seen that ring before at the jewelers and admired it! I hate my own ring.
He must have spent a fortune on that thing! He got ripped off.
It looks just like my mother’s engagement ring. It sucks.
That’s a big stone! It’s fake.
I think it’s wonderful that he didn’t bow to societal pressure and buy you a diamond. He sucks.

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